CIRCLE OF LOVE

I’ve lost track of the original words that precede this scribbling but it was private and it should probably remain that way.  The sentiment that follows is an echo of the run-around in my head I enjoyed so much. 

CIRCLE OF LOVE

It starts with

2 points

on a circle:

Woman rounds bend

Chasing man

Until woman; I am she

Catches him.

Circle of love

1 is a son

2 is a son too

3 is a daughter I name after me.

1 stretches  me;

2 baffles me;

3 puzzles me even more.

1 leads the way;

2 embarks too;

3 brings us all back together again.

In a circle

No one leads

Unless someone says, “Catch me;

You’re it.”

To Man and Superman, GBS, you're it.  Thank you.

GEOLOGY 101

Note to reader:  The information put forthwith in this post are solely based on my limited understanding of what Professor Marx told me in class today ONLY if I managed to write down fast enough the slew of information he shared and got it right.  You may, should you choose to comment on my blog, tell me I am 100% wrong.  Then you, my dear reader, will be my teacher too.

At the near end of my first Geology class, my teacher Joe Marx explained Geology’s relatively new acceptance as a serious science by today’s standards.  The study of rocks being more than the evidence for creation-based observations began around the start of the 18^th century, give or take a few years depending on what country of origin you are from.  The reason being is when people stopped seeing rocks in an absolute way and  allowed for singular events like meteors hitting the earth to shake things up a bit, scientists began to take an interest in the many stories that those little and big pieces of metamorphic, igneous and sedimentary rocks have to tell us.

And at the very end of class today, my teacher digressed a bit and talked about the end of the planet as we know it.  Now mind you, I spent the entire time wide-eyed and mystified by what he said because my knowledge of rocks is based on throwing them in the water and counting the rings they make.   When he said, “the planet will end when the sun blows out and engulfs the earth,” he lifted his hands up, cupped his fingers as if holding a ball, and moved them outward in the air to show the sun grow the VERY SAME WAY my son Tommy did at dinner Tuesday night when he explained how the sun’s crust will turn red, expand and gobble up the earth.

It’s a sign I’m meant to take Geology and start looking at the environment in a whole new way.  And  I can’t wait to begin.

ANATOMY PRIMER ON THE BILLY GOAT A

I hate to admit it but the following is even too painful for me to read!

 

Saturday I took my first hike of the year with my family along the Billy Goat A Trail at Great Falls, MD.  Billy Goat A comes with lots of warning signs - Don't Swim, Don't Jump, Don't Bring Your Dog. But what they really need to post is a picture of the human musculoskeletal system with a list of possible injuries to beware.  So here's what I learned about this human body while hiking along last Saturday:

Hammer toes slip

Ankles twist

Meniscus tears groan

Adductor pulls

L-1 shifts

Deltoids cringe

And I am not alone with vintage injuries.  Eric discovered since straining the big phalange on his right foot and tearing the flexor digitorum longus tendon on his left foot, he's a bit slower too.

IN MEMORIUM

2012 is quickly drawing to a close and there are people I want to remember.  Brace yourself for some somber words.

Christmas is an odd time to think about the Grim Reaper but this season I cannot ignore what we all inevitably face.   I am no stranger to Death.  He knocked on my door when I was 7 and took my dad.  7 is too young to know that Daddy isn’t coming home.  He traveled a lot and so I thought one day he would be back.  Or so that is what my second grade teacher told my Mom when I started school again that Fall.

Last March, Death took my mother-in-law.  But unlike my Dad, she went on her own terms.  Kathryn lived with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) for 14 years.  When we got the call on February 26 from my Father-in-Law Gerry that Mom isn’t doing well, Eric, who was on a work trip in California at the time, returned home immediately.  I followed two days later after squaring the kids away with my mother and sister.  What I experienced for the next 3 days was Holy.  Kathryn was sick but her spirit was not.  She knew her time was near and so she hung in until she had seen all her children.  During that time, we learned once again that there are so many ways to communicate how we feel when our mouths no longer move.  A look, a smile, says it all. Kathryn died on March 8th in her home with her lover beside her.

What follows is one of my favorite passages from Willa Cather’s book, “Death Comes for the Archbishop.”  I turn to it when someone I know has passed away:

“In those days, even in European countries, death had a solemn social importance.  It was not regarded as a moment when certain bodily organs ceased to function, but as a dramatic climax, a moment when the soul made its entrance into the next world, passing in full consciousness through a lowly door to an unimaginable scene.  Among the watchers there was always the hope that the dying man might reveal something of what he alone could see;”

This Christmas season, my thoughts and prayers are with my friend Cathy, whose mother passed away unexpectedly on December 26^th.    To Robert Donato Pinto, Kathryn Regina HibbsVoit, Arlene Shaw, may God Bless you and keep you.  You are His now until we all meet again.

LISTENING IS ANIMAL BEHAVIOR

The last class I took at the Audubon Naturalist Society in Chevy Chase was Animal Behavior.  The class was taught by Jane Huff, one of my all time favorite teachers.  By all time I mean since elementary school.  Maybe one day I will pay tribute to all the other teachers who touched my life but today I thank Jane.

At the time I took the class, I was going through some personal health issues and was a bit distracted.  It was hard to focus on the material even though what we were talking about is every animal lovers' favorite subject - animals.  And our homework?

Get out there people and observe animals!

Really.

Our final project was to report on some animal we watched, notice something about it and give a presentation in front of the class.

I didn't know what to do.  Jane, a horse lover and rider too, suggested some things for me to do at the barn but that didn't work out because I was too new a rider then to have any fun. When the day finally came to give a presentation, I was sick.  Maybe it was performance anxiety, maybe not, but Jane accepted  my YouTube video in my place.  (Commercial Break:  You can still see my final presentation on YouTube called at Feeding Stormy the Cornsnake as long as you don't mind watching a snake eat a live mouse.)

I digress.  The real point I want to make here is that suddenly watching animals do what animals do best wasn't fun anymore.  It was work.  School work.

It  may be hard to imagine but at my age school projects still cause me anxiety.  I might as well be back in HS.  Here's the thing though - that class has stayed with me ever since the way anything can have a lasting impression.  And the mark Jane's class left me with is something I never expected.  I think I am becoming more like the animals I have been watching: quiet.

Weird. I know.  But please bear with me a little longer.

I've told you about over coming fear on horseback and learning to trust  myself.  Here's another thing I have learned since hanging around the stall and riding in the ring.  Horses don't talk. (duh.)  But we human animals talk all the time.  In fact, there is so much talking there's hardly any listening going on at all.

Last Thursday my instructor worked me hard trotting Leroy, the gaited horse with the strange dressage saddle.  I did pretty good up there too if I do say so myself.  Yet I still kept doing it wrong and so my instructor kept yelling at me about what I needed to do right.  During past lessons I yelled right back. I didn't know I could be so agonistic but I figured I needed to stick up for myself and so I did.  But today was different.  Steve was yelling at me while I did my best and I did not yell back. Instead, I shut up.

Listening is an active skill, especially sitting in the saddle.  The horses have taught me that. Listening is also communication.  I am beginning to like not talking.  In fact, being quiet is serving me well.  I trotted longer and harder than I ever have before.

So, to Jane and Steve, thank you... for everything... I'm  listening still.

RIDING FOR FUN

Fear.

There has been a lot said on the subject:

“Face your Fear.”

“Let go of your fear.”

“Fear is letting go.”

Actually, I’m not sure about that last one.  Sometimes I make things up but that is what I am thinking about today because I think I have come a long way with how I handle fear.  For the last 14 months, I have been taking Horse Back Riding lessons.   I have no business taking Horse Back Riding lessons but here’s the thing:  my daughter takes Horse Back Riding lessons and I want to keep up with her.  Then my best friend started taking lessons too, and I wanted to keep up with her!  So if I thought I was too old to get on a horse, I remembered that my best friend is older than me.  And then I got on Cheyenne.

I have put off so much this last year for the sake of Horse Back Riding and I’ve had to ask  myself why numerous times.  Why do I ride?  I am terrified.  Literally.  At first, the simple rocking of the horse unnerved me so you can imagine my “aaahhhh” when it stumbled.  (By the way, I don’t scream.  I “aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh” Lucille Ball style.  I am a red head and Lucy is one of my guiding stars.  I Love Lucy.  But here I digress…)   

Since riding Cheyenne that first day, I have ridden Kitty, Leroy, Radar, Marilyn, Sunny, Rhiannon, Cinnamon, and Starlight.  Starlight is my favorite.  Kitty is not. And I've come a long way too.  I've learned to tell my instructor when I’m not “feeling the love” or better yet, I am more direct and just tell my instructor, “I am having a panic attack,” just as I am putting my foot in the stirrup.  Those six little words work wonders to pull on my instructor’s heart strings because the next thing he always says to me is, “My goal for you is simply to have fun up there.”  FUN? Really?? 

Today, I can honestly say I am having fun.  But a funny thing happened along the way.   I am letting go and it’s not just my fear that is going.   Old notions like “I can’t” are going too.  And I am a lot calmer.  Relationships that used to be so hard are not so hard anymore.  I think it is Horse Back Riding that has given me strength and courage.

I still have days when I am anxious to ride.  It’s probably because I am uncertain who my mount will be.  I trust some horses more than others.  But Steve, my instructor, knows something I don’t.  Trust happens from within.  I thought I had to trust the horse when in fact I am learning to trust myself.  And trust is a feeling just like fear.  So when I let fear go, I make room for trust to grow and it feels great.  In fact, it feels like fun.

DO YOU WANT TO HIKE WITH ME?

September 19, 2012

What good is being a Naturalist-in-Training if I never get out for a hike?? That is, after all, what it means to be a NIT.  So today I invited my friend and fellow blogger Julie Kennon to hike with me at Sugar Loaf Mountain in Dickerson, MD, one of my favorite places to go in Montgomery County, MD.  As I walked out the door, I told Eric I’ll be back around 1PM.  That was at 10 AM.  I figure the two of us would hike 1.5 hours and the drive round trip would take 1.5 hours.  A little over 6 miles and nearly 5 hours later, I returned home happy and tingly all over.

We didn’t get lost. I swear.  Julie had an Android Ap that we could pull up anytime except we didn’t. We followed the paper trail that the staff supplies visitors at Sugar Loaf until we ran out of time.  At 1:45 PM we wondered if we would get back home before school let out but fortunately the tracking arrow on the screen led us back inch by inch to the parking lot and we arrived home with 6 minutes to spare.  Nevertheless, I am very proud of us.  We did a great job following the map.  I even figured out what the elevation changes mean as we walked up and down and round and round the blue and white trails.  (Really.  Before today, I didn’t understand how to read the swirly circles that, in my opinion, muddy the map and make it nearly incomprehensible to read.) 

So as I explained to Julie, hiking and naturing are very different.  When I’m hiking, I’m exercising or spending time catching up with a friend.  When I’m naturing (not a word, I know), I’m observing.  And while it sounds like 6 miles in 3 hours is slow, the naturalist shuffle is even slower.  When I’m naturing with fellow Audubon classmates, we don’t even travel at a rate of 1 mile per hour.

I’ll be heading back to Sugar Loaf a lot this year both for the exercise and to observe the beauty of it all.  People, you are welcome to join me in the future but please, when you do, let me know if you want to go hiking or naturing, and just maybe I’ll have you home on time.